Fuck This Bullshit

So today DC Comics made the big announcement on their multiple sequelz to Watchmen. You know, the comic whose rights are supposed to revert back to creators Alan Moore, Dave Gibbons, and John Higgins the second it goes out of print. Back in 1985 when those contracts were inked, every comic went out of print once its original issues sold out. But Watchmen was so wildly popular that the book went into a collected edition once its initial run finished -- almost unheard of at the time -- and has been in print ever since. That's right, folks: Moore and Gibbons were actually punished for creating a comic that sold well. (This is how they do. How's that Batman pitch coming, you fucking stooges?)

Anyway, Moore's gone on record with far more eloquence than I could ever muster about the truly disgusting nature of his treatment at DC's hands, but I'll just say these sequels (phwhoops, I mean prequels!!) are DC's way of givang a good fucking to Watchmen's content now that its creators have been getting raped for three decades. Now, I'm sure plenty of people will have better mean things to say about the creators involved in these sequels than I do -- but don't judge them too harshly! Remember that you can always destroy the machine from within! Just take a look at noted titty artist Adam Hughes' brilliantly subversive cover to the first issue of the new Dr. Manhattan series, which portrays everyone's favorite blu-razz flavored nuclear man nutsack deep in the lovely and talented Silk Spectre, a fact which the lissome avenger seems slightly ambivalent about. With that long dark hair, she even looks a little like Alan Moore if ya squint!



That's stickin' it to the man, Adam! And now, folks, if you're as excited about "Before Watchmen" as I am, let's all raise our fists, get our dicks out, and join our voices in a thundering chorus of "Take it, bitch!!!"